How to live well with your neighbour is one of the posts based on my study on the Book of Proverbs. I noticed the word neighbour coming up several times in this book and I tried to summarise what I was learning.
I believe it offers a lot of lessons, warnings and guidelines on how to live well with our neighbours and also how to become a good neighbour.
How to live well with your neighbour
1. Offer them assistance when you can
Proverbs 3:28 Do not say to your neighbor,
“Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
when you already have it with you
Whenever it is in our power to help, Proverbs calls us to do so. James 4:17 therefore to him that knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
Assistance can take the form of shovelling the snow for them, gardening, shopping for them (especially the elderly who are house bound), information on how to do something or financial help (to be excercised with caution).
2. Do not covet your neighbours wealth, property
Proverbs 6:29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent
Jesus warns us against covetousness in Luke 12:15, And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
Throughout the Bible especially in the New Testament, covetousness is viewed as evil, those who covet are in the same company of fornicators, idolaters, railer, or a drunkard or even extortioner (see 1 Corinthians 5:11) from whom we are not to keep company.
As always (makes me so glad to know this) the Bible offers the solution to covetousness. Whenever we find ourselves coveting our neighbour’s stuff, remember this verse: Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
3. Do not despise them
Proverbs 11:12 Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense,
but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. The KJV version uses despise in place of derides.
Proverbs 14:21 It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor,
but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy
We ought not to look down upon, or feel contempt for our neighbours. This is easy to do when we are getting along but when things go awry, or they mistreat us, it becomes challenging. God’s word calls us speak kindly about them instead of despising them.
4. Do not gossip about them
Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid anyone who talks too much (NIV)
No one likes a gossiper. Is that a word? People who gossip cannot be trusted. A relationship without trust holds very little value and is often charaterised by shallowness.
Proverbs 20:19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therfore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
5. Do not reveal secrets that they share with you
Proverbs 25:9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another
Revealing secrets can hurt so bad. secrets are told to the people close to us whom we can trust. Therefore when they reveal this information to others it causes heartache. Being able to keep a secret is key to sustaining healthy relationships. This is why marriages can be ruined when a spouses secrets.
6. Visit occasionally
Proverbs 25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—
too much of you, and they will hate you
My mother and grandmother taught me this over and over and for a long time I did not know they were drawing from the scriptures. Just because our neighbours are friendly and warm, we should not ‘exploit’ their kindness. When you rarely visit, it becomes special when you do. Good manners also dictate that you inform them prior to showing up.
7. Do not make silly jokes in deception
Proverbs 26:17-19 He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?
We are called to treat our neighbours with respect; avoiding deception and pranks.
8. Bear no false witness
It is one of the commandments! Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
Proverbs 24:28 Do not testify against your neighbor without cause—
would you use your lips to mislead?
Proverbs 24:28 Be not a witness against thy neighbour without cause and deeive not with thy lips (KJV)
Giving false witness can ruin someone’s life, career and even family. We have heard in the news people who have been falsely imprisoned because someone lied in court and they spent years behind bars for a crime thy did not commit. It is so sad that some in prison today are innocent because of a false witness.
Our words have power to build or destroy! The bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18:21).
9. Do not plan evil
Proverbs 3:29 Devise not evil against they neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.
A neighbour offers protection by living close by. What a beautiful place our communities would be if neighbours dwelt peacefully with each other! Our part is not to devise evil against them.
Having bad neighbours can make one move out of a estate or village. Their experiences can ruin the memories of a given area or town.
Conclusion on how to live well with your neighbour
The word of God (Proverbs) is filled with wisdom on how to live harmoniously with our neighbours.
It is very clear that God wants us to respect others, to help them when they are in need and this is pleasing to God. But what if we have difficult neighbours what can we do? Pray. Pray for them. Prayer changes things and we are called to pray without ceasing. Do good to them also.
These verses can be applied to the workplace, and not just the neighbour with whom we live next to.
May we be the good, Godly neighbours that please Jesus our Lord.
Please share your thoughts below.
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